Ever since I read the Christy Miller series as a young girl, I started writing letters to my future husband. The main protagonist in the book does the same after she becomes a believer in Jesus, realizing that marriage is a picture of our relationship with God.
Don’t worry, this isn’t a letter to him, although it could be. I won’t even allow my sister to read the things that I have written for his eyes only. This will only be my open list of attributes that I look for in the one who I will marry one day.
The things he strives for.
First off, he needs to have a relationship with Jesus Christ, God’s only begotten Son. Without knowing Jesus, I don’t see how our relationship would even work out. Since we both wouldn’t strive for the same things. I pray that we both are growing spiritually during this time of waiting.
“-grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and forever.” (II Peter 3:18)
One of the top attributes that I find attractive is someone with genuine humbleness for others. Someone who wouldn’t be too prideful to help someone they think is less than themselves. In the end, is there really a difference? We’re all human, we’ve all been born the same way and carry the nature of sin. Nobody is perfect, besides Jesus. And if we strive to be like Him, then that means we ought to humble ourselves like He did on the cross.
“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests but also for the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4)
When someone is honest, it shows their character. The way they act and what they think. Honesty creates a firm foundation for any relationship.
“If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.” (1 John 1:6)
Leading is not made for the female role in the relationship, even though sometimes we ladies think it is, in the Bible, it actually tells us to be submissive. I want my future husband to not be afraid to stand and lead whenever he needs to.
“For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.” (Ephesians 5:23)
Hopefully, the Lord will bless us with kids someday. And when that time comes I pray that he will be excited about a family. I pray that he has a special place in his heart for kids already. That he would already be a role model to the children around him.
“Let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver.” (II Corinthians 9:7)
It doesn’t have to be only money when it comes to giving. Charity work can be a simple holding the door open for someone or lending a hand to someone in need. The best form of charity is simply to love.
“Whatever you do, do it enthusiastically, as something done for the Lord and not for men, knowing that you will receive the reward of an inheritance from the Lord. You serve the Lord Christ.” (Colossians 3:23-24)
Patience is not a natural trait for anyone. If we were all born with a patient spirit then the world would be an entirely different place. But we are not born that way. We have to be made that way.
“So Jacob worked seven years for Rachel, and they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.” (Genesis 29:20)
I absolutely love this verse because it reminds us of the hard work Jacob, (who is Abraham’s great-grandson), labored for someone he loved. Most of the time nobody is ever willing to wait for a little insignificant text message, let alone work 7-years to be able to be with the one you love.
I pray that he and I will have the courage to stand for the Bible no matter the cost.
“Be strong and courageous; don’t be terrified or afraid of them. For it is the Lord your God who goes with you; He will not leave you or forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)
True wisdom, I believe, only comes from God. My prayer is that even now, even though we have never met, we are both striving for this wisdom and seeking to gain knowledge from the One who knows it all.
“Wisdom is supreme — so get wisdom. And whatever else you get, get understanding. Cherish her, and she will exalt you; if you embrace her, she will honor you. She will place a garland of grace on your head; she will give you a crown of beauty.” (Proverbs 4:7-9)
Love is such a wonderful and peculiar thing. Love drives people to do some pretty odd things. Yet, love is something all of us desire at some point in our lives. We seek after love because it is the only thing that can satisfy us, for a time. However, Jesus said that if we drink of His everlasting water we will never drink again. Jesus can only truly satisfy our longing hearts. I have learned to be content with just Him. I don’t have to have a boyfriend to be happy or to feel loved. Jesus shows me love every day. But, you know what is also beautiful about his love? It has no bounds. Through His love, we can have a unique love for others. I want my future husband to share this kind of love with me.
“The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with loving kindness have I drawn thee.” (Jeremiah 31:3)
What girl doesn’t want a knight in shining armor? The land of Jane Austen and fictional perfect men do not help the situation. Guys rarely show chivalry anymore. When was the last time a guy went out of his way to hold the door for you? Or let you go before him in a line or doorway? I want someone who does these simple actions automatically, without even thinking twice.
“Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives with an understanding of their weaker nature yet showing them honor as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” (1 Peter 3:7)
I want him to motivate me as much as I want to motivate him. An encourager can spark hope in someone which then motivates them to do big things. I pray that we motivate each other in the way we live, worship and serve together.
“Therefore encourage one another with these words.” (1 Thessalonians 4:18)